Page Title

Letters

I Am Proud to Have Known You

From Dan Nevins
Friend & Brother in Arms

My Brother,
we didn't talk much while serving together, but when we
did, there was always substance and the more I got to
know who you were at your core the more I respected you.

I would have loved to have you in my squad as I am sure
every squad leader would have. You always went above
and beyond and that is a testimony to what a great person
you were. I want to tell you that I feel that your sacrifice,
though tragic and untimely, was not in vain and history
will tell the tale much differently than it is in the present.
So, as you look down on the rest of us, I hope that you will
understand that. At least that is the way I feel.
You left too early to know, but on 10 Nov 2004, when
another of our brothers (SFC Mike Ottolini) paid the
ultimate sacrifice, I was severely injured in the same
explosion. I lost my left leg in the explosion and after 27
surgeries, after being evacuated to Walter Reed they were
able to save my right leg. Now, three years later, I am back
at Walter Reed having the right leg amputated. It was just
too much pain to deal with daily and the recurring bone
infections were "show stoppers". Now that I have had the
surgery on the 23rd of January 08, I feel much better, and
Hopefully I will be walking again soon.

I know that we have made our sacrifices for a just and
good reason, and I am PROUD to have known you and
served with you. I will ALWAYS remember you, as well as
Andre and Mike, in addition to all of those who made it
home on their own power, but have their continuing
battles that go unseen.

Again, Thank You for being the man who you were. I am
honored to have served in the same unit with you, in the
same Army, and for the Greatest Nation in the World, and
Proud to have fought with you as a brother in arms for a
cause that history will view as necessary and just. God
Bless you and yours.

Your Brother,

SSG (R) Dan Nevins

I miss him

From Christopher Ulen
A Friend & A Soldier

I think about him everyday and as much as I try to
get that day out of my head I can't.
I did everything in my power to keep him alive but I
couldn't.
I miss him.

Christopher Ulen

From Chrissy Loya
Friend

"To Patrick's mother,
it has taken me so long to find the words to say how
sorry I am about him. I met u briefly one day on
Roosevelt when Pat had is as he called it his (muscle
car,)
So funny & so into making sure everyone else was
OK, a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, he
was one that brightened my day.
All the advice he had given me about do's & don'ts
will not be forgotten. Our friendship was for a very
long time even though we went to different schools.
Him at Homestead and me at Fremont.
The smile on his face, u got to love it.
I have so much to say, but it hurts so much to know
my friend is gone but not far away & to meet him in
heaven,I can not wait for that day. So my
condolences go out to his wife & kids,& from the
pictures that I have seen are so beautiful & to u of
course his dear mother that he talked so often of.
I will remember the smile he has & the one star that
shines so bright knowing he is looking down on all
he knows & loves so much.
"God Bless You All""

Chrissy Loya
of Sunnyvale, Ca

Letters...

1)
Dear Mrs. Mc Caffrey,

We are just regular people whose lives were touched by
Patrick.

Sometime in 2003 or 2004, my car was rear ended and
Farmers Insurance brought the car to Akins in Palo Alto.
That's where I met Patrick who gave me the best excellent
service. I didn't ask for anything to get that special
treatment. I guess it was just normal to him to provide
excellent service.
Before our car was to be released, he said he will turn
over it to his assistant whose name I forgot now. He said
he will be deployed to Iraq, my wife didn't know if she
would hug him or wish him luck because we were at a
loss for words. We wished him our prayers and luck.
When I got my car, he already left. We can still remember
his voice on his voicemail.
Today, Tuesday (Oct. 16) 3 years later, we have to go to
Akins because my sister's car had an accident. I checked
on the counter hoping to see Patrick and I felt nervous
not seeing him. Instead a new manager named George
met us. Our heart sank when we learned about the bad
news. Me and my wife had a bad day today. We were
thinking about Patrick the whole day.
We were just regular people who just met Patrick casually
in the course of his work as the GM of Akins. What more
with you, his mother and.... Silvia. We can feel your pain.
Our heart goes to you Mrs. McCaffrey. We will always pray
for Patrick. We'd like to know where he is resting so we
can offer our prayers.

Our thoughts love and prayers are with you.

Leo & Juliet C.

3)
Dear Mrs. McCaffrey,

Every year, Memorial Day has just been a mall discount
and shopping day for us.

Today, that has changed. Today, it has a special
meaning for us. Every Memorial Day, we will light a
candle in memory of Patrick, whose casual
acquaintance
changed our lives.

We hope to meet you soon. We are always praying for
you and Patrick's Family.

Love,

Leo & Juliet
Palo Alto, Ca

2)
Dear Friends,
I fell a part reading your mail this morning...
Many lives have changed since and because of
Patrick's death.
I will never be the same again, neither are his 2 children
or his Dad..
Patrick has done so many wonderful things his whole
life and from the other side as well.
Some of the hundred's of articles that were published
around Patrick's death,
Patrick'story has become well-known, post mortem. As
a gentle caring Spirit, Patrick live on, he was so loved
and still is.
Thank you for sharing your experience with me.
Stay in touch, I would like to meet you sometimes...
I live in Patrick's house in Tracy.

In Peaceful Service.
Nadia McCaffrey Gold Star Mother of Sgt Patrick
McCaffrey

TO THE MCCAFFREY FAMILY

ALL OUR PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU.
THE DEVASTATION YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED CAN ONLY BE
KNOWN BY THOSE WHO HAVE EXPERIENCED THE SAME.

I DON'T KNOW THAT BUT I DO KNOW JUST HOW
DEVASTATING PATRICK'S DEATH IS.
I AM THE MOTHER OF THE SOLDIER WHO DID ALL HE COULD
TO SAVE PATRICK'S LIFE.
HE IS MOURNING PATRICK LIKE HE WAS HIS OWN BROTHER
AND WILL NEVER FORGET THE HERO IN PATRICK IN HIS
WORDS THE TRUE HERO'S ARE THOSE WHO GAVE THEIR ALL
AS PATRICK DID HE WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN

SOLDIERS MOM of VIRGINIA BEACH

GOLD STAR MOTHER’ …DAY ?
May 11 2008
By Nadia McCaffrey

Mother’s Day?
What is the meaning of these two words?

The fact is that there is no one left to call me Mother anymore!
I need to gather myself in order to remain psychologically sound.
As every year, for four years, this year is unlike the last, as time
goes, the harder, the more excruciating the pain has become. I miss
Patrick’s voice telling me:
I love you Mom...just calling out of the blue for no reason, that was
typical of Patrick .
I have the regret to say that I had not fully grasped the deep
meaning of his spontaneous actions, I always have loved him so
very much, just seeing him for a short few minutes made my day
worth while.
Patrick was born 38 years ago (May 26 1970) at Stanford University
Hospital, weighing just over five pounds at 1:30 pm his birth took an
hour, what an amazing day that was, Bob and I just became parents
of a child that one day would become a legend in his own way and a
role model for many.

What have I accomplished since Patrick’s death?
I feel as I am drowning in the middle of an ocean without shores. I
cannot think of myself, my thoughts are not here.
Someone said to me once: “Nadia everything that you do is about
Patrick or because of Patrick”
I never had thought of it this way, but it probably has some truth!

Memories…My Darling son has not faded in any way from my vision,
my memory, and my emotions. Last week, walking by the wheat
crackers section of the supermarket, I suddenly burst into tears,
seeing in my minds eye the very last package that we had sent to
Camp Anaconda, Patrick never received it... he was killed instead
and the package came back to us un-opened from Iraq, never got
his “Altama” desert boots either.
The boots forever empty will never be worn and are now on display
near his medals and photographs.
On his daily phone call, I remember his words with a heaviness of
despair in his voice, asking me if we had sent the package yet. He
needed his boots, the old pair was holding with duct tape.

I remember three days after Patrick’s death, his house in Tracy, was
packed with flowers and people, we happened to be watching a
series of digital photographs that the soldiers had send us from Iraq,
on the computer with Jeanne (who had babysat for him in
Sunnyvale) others were standing behind my chair, suddenly we
stared at one-another with tears rolling down our cheeks while we all
became speechless the room stood in a perfect still, an heavenly
sent of roses filled the room so powerfully, after a moment Silvia
shouted: Mom…it’s Patrick, he his here with us now…
I remember the day of Patrick’s Memorial at Fry’s Chapel, hundred’s
of people came, and many stood outside the chapel. Patrick Junior
and Janessa Marie were playing in the chapel and laughing, I finally
got a hold of Junior who was nine years old at the time, and talk to
him gently explaining and at the same time asking if he understood
that it was his father inside the flag draped coffin standing before us
and that was not respectful to run inside the place. Junior looked at
me and said:
yea grandma but, when is my Daddy coming home?
My jaw dropped, and I understood at this instant that we were
heading for a long haul of sad emptiness in our lives…

It was hot, after briefly talking to the large number of media; we
headed back to the house, while Patrick’s body left for his last Home
in Oceanside. We had to get ready to proceed in driving ourselves
to meet at the cemetery for a very last ceremony. I was in the TV
room; Janessa was playing with Lucky in the backyard. Janessa
came in the house shouting: Grandma, she had a strong hold of my
hand and pull me outside with her, pointing at the lemon tree, she
said: you see daddy is here, he loves Janessa, grandma can he stay
with us now?
She had this marvelous spark in her eyes and smile that she only
had in Patrick’s presence. I was choking and sobbing, in tears that
wouldn’t stop, of course only Janessa saw her Daddy, I felt Patrick’s
powerful and loving self…

There isn't a moment in a day where his presence is not at my side;
Patrick is my strength, my motivation, my only reason of still existing.
With his love I made up a fabric of idealistic dreams dictated by his
very own.
The main question is:
Is it happening? Is the Dream Happening?
If it is, then why does it seem never to end, the dream, I mean.

The Centers, I can see them, touch them, walk in them; I know that
the materialization is near completion, the interest in the efficiency
and purpose of the vision itself has become national and even
international.
Do I have the power to close the chapter of this project before life
exits my body? I am not so sure anymore.
I know that I am at cross-roads where the choice is made available to
me. The temptation of letting go is strong, not waking up seems easy
enough; my health is degrading on daily basis.
The challenge has become a black wall where I cannot see the top
nor the end, I am becoming exhausted, it is hard to breath, it is
painful inhaling each breath this body is telling me to hurry up and
finish what I have started, I feel like I am literally falling apart and I
am not sure that I can reverse the process I need a miracle to stay
alive enough time to finish my mission... we will see!
Holding on to life by a thread, I need to keep my vision undisturbed
until completion.
On the other end I want to fulfill Patrick’s wishes and be the grandma
that he wanted me to be.
Yes, but what am I going to do about it?

I feel very proud of my grand children, Junior has come a long way
since Patrick's death, every day he acts and looks more like his dad
and he is becoming quiet an athlete and a gentleman as well as a
peace maker. Once in a while he and I have a serious talk. Patrick
would be so proud of him now, and I make a point to tell him that, I
also remind Junior that he can do whatever he choose to do in life
and stay with it, never quit. Those are some of Patrick last words to
Junior. I truly enjoy his company and conversation, he shows a very
healthy curiosity of a bright mind.
His Heart is in a very good place, I love him very much.

My little Janessa is still struggling hard, she needs her dad so badly,
they were so close to each other.
I remember, when Patrick came home from boot camp, the family
came to welcome him in Santa Rosa airport, the soldiers lined up by
the airplane and started to walk in our direction there was quiet a
distance and before any one of us could see Patrick, Janessa
started to climb the wire fence and screaming Daddy Daddy my
Daddy, Silvia and I had a bad time holding on to her, she was 2
years old... She eventually run off into the field toward the long line
of National guardsmen and women, straight to her Dad, Patrick did
the same thing, run off from the orderly walk to pick up Janessa in
his strong arms both laughing to tears and holding on tight to each
other…it was quiet a site!

And then there is the LION KING.
Patrick and Janessa both were sitting in the master bedroom
watching the Lion King, Janessa would watch the Disney feature 5
times (average) daily.
This took place the night before Patrick left for deployment to Iraq.
I was listening to their voices thinking sadly that this family joy was
coming to an end.
At the part where the Lion King is killed in “an ambush” betrayed by
his brother, Janessa grabbed on to her father so hard and made a
knot of her little fingers around Patrick’s neck almost crying telling
him:
“Daddy that’s you, Daddy that’s you…”
Patrick run to me in the kitchen where Silvia and I were cooking
dinner for all of us, and his face was flushed: Mom, do you know
what Janessa just told me?
I am not coming back am I Mom?
Of course I said, she is just a baby sweet heart, she doesn’t
know…but, did Janessa have the knowledge of her Daddy‘s faith?
After that day Patrick had left his home never to walk trough the
door again, it became a tradition for Janessa and I to watch the Lion
King on daily basis and every time the film reached the death of the
Lion she curled up close to me and keep saying to me” Grandma
that’s my Daddy…

Her will is strong and her heart is golden, she truly is a gift.
In some ways I am afraid for her she is such a rebel just like I, it
make me feel helpless, I know who she is.
Janessa is making so much progress in school now, thank goodness
for a great tutor.

Last holiday was the closest of a Christmas we have had since 2004.
We trooped together at Bob’s house in Bella Vista with Janessa
Marie, Patrick Junior, Silvia and I. It was a delight to watch Patrick’s
children
re-discovering each other after a much too long separation and
Lucky (Patrick’s dog) was very joyful to see all of us.

The last evening we had in Tracy as a family, Patrick opened up, he
and I talked on the bench, the silence was heavy and meaningful
between words.

Later that evening he asked me to get the Medicine Cards and he
picked one of the them, it was the RAVEN, laughing he pointed at his
shoulder patch : Mom I am a Raven! (Patrick was attached to the 81
Brigade from Washington “The Ravens” his Unit the 579 from
Petaluma was small, 90 soldiers)
The card had this words to share “Open yourself to Miracles Use
new eyes, Believe in Magic Embrace life’s Wonders”
Watching the crows and ravens flying around us, Patrick would
laugh and say: If I don’t make it back, I will be here watching over all
of you, I will be. Patrick was shot with the cards on his chest.

Nadia McCaffrey Gold Star Mother of Patrick R.
McCaffrey Sr

From: Chaplain Kathie Costos <Namguardianangel@aol.com>
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:01:11 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: [Wounded Times] Veteran's Village of healing
http://woundedtimes.blogspot.com

“Here's a link to a film my brother David and I made recently for
VeteransVillage.org, a charity founded by Nadia McCaffrey,
mother of fallen American soldier Patrick McCaffrey.”

“Roughly 40% of American soldiers are returning from Iraq and
Afghanistan with PTSD. Veteran's Village is a healing oasis to
help vets reintegrate into society.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_q7cTlRjGeU

If you look over on the side bar, you'll see this video up for about a
week or so.
It's hard to believe this much time has come and gone since I was
first made aware of Nadia.

One Mother's War
Robert Durell / LAT
Nadia McCaffrey, who now operates a nonprofit grief counseling
program and has become a leader in the Northern California antiwar
movement, has been a lifelong pacifist and opposed her son's
enlistment from the beginning.
By Jeff Nachtigal, Special to the Times
January 30, 2005
TRACY, Calif. -- On the day her son Patrick McCaffrey died on a
blacktop farm road in northern Iraq, Nadia McCaffrey's war began.

Her first act was to invite the press to the Sacramento Airport when
her 34-year-old son's flag draped-coffin was brought home at the
end of June 2004.
http://www.latimes.com/features/printedition/magazine/la-tm-
guard30jan30-sb,1,3668041.story?coll=la-home-
magazine&ctrack=1&cset=true

Since then my admiration for her has only grown deeper. While she
gets attention for the Veteran's Village, what her life's mission is, is
something she does very quietly. She is changing lives. You won't
hear her tell you of this one or that one who had their lives
transformed because she thought waving a flag and slapping a
yellow magnet to the back of a car was just not enough to support
the veterans enough and did something about it, but you will hear it
in her voice how much she really cares about all of them. You can
hear it in this video. A remarkable woman indeed~

Nadia has been helping a friend of mine I care deeply for. No one
will know his story or how much she has helped him. No one will
know most of the stories of the lives placed into Nadia's loving
hands or how they have gone from seeing lives and things
destroyed to feeling love's healing grace and watching things grow
on organic farms. They will not know how many have cried on her
shoulder or thrived on a hug from this woman who has adopted all
of them as if they were her own children. What no one will hear is
precisely the reason she does it. No one would have been there to
help them the way she has. Her reward is beyond a price tag. You
cannot put a price on a life that may have ended had Nadia not
been there doing this work.

While her work is priceless to those she helps, it is very expensive to
operate. Veteran's Village needs donations. She needs you to
support her so she can support them. If you've finally come to the
point in your life where you are aware that waving a flag seems
insignificant and a yellow ribbon on an SUV seems really stupid,
donate to the work Nadia is doing to really welcome them home and
to a home where they can feel as if they are a part of this beautiful
land. Help them find a peaceful place to recover from the wounds
they carry in their soul.

We know that when the mind, body and spirit are addressed in
unison, there are miracles happening everyday. Nadia understands
this. Do you? Veteran's Village is non-political and all she cares
about is them. It doesn't matter if they agree with what is being done
in Iraq or not. All she cares about is that they were willing to serve
their country and they are now in need for doing so.

I am proud to call Nadia my friend and I hope one day to be able to
meet her, but I have a feeling we already met in another time and
another place. Should we not meet on this earth face to face, we'll
meet later soul to soul.

--
Posted By Chaplain Kathie Costos to Wounded Times at
6/17/2008 11:56:00 AM
http://woundedtimes.blogspot.com